We don't know what this is, exactly. But it's Metal as Fuck.

This is a photograph of a menu--for maybe the Coolest Restaurant Ever--that has been making the rounds on the internet. On the plus side, this place looks unbelievably awesome. On the downside, despite my googlestalking prowess, I can find neither hide nor hair of said restaurant's physical location.

The low prices rule out the Coasts, and the psuedo-Pagan/Satanic nature of the restaurant itself probably rules out the Bible Belt. Thus, I'm thinking somewhere in the Midwest or Great Plains. I could totally see this place being a huge hit in Sturgis during the bike rally, fwiw.

Regardless, if anyone has any idea where this place is actually located, please do your small part towards making the world a better place and post it on this blog so I can spread the word. Thanks all! \m/

(click on pic to enlarge for full awesomeness)

Best. Haircut. Ever...

There aren't many things in life that can make me feel as good as a truly sweet haircut. Huge props to Sabrina at Lady Jane's, Ann Arbor, for her hour-long effort to drop some whupass on my unruly tresses this past Saturday, an effort which was a virtuoso display of both excellent taste and shear scissor-wielding badassery.

If I still drank, this is how my Saturday night would have went down. Especially if I could afford to hire Steel Panther for a gig.

Neil Young gets the last laugh

I miss the 1970's. Not that I actually remember them. I mean, I was technically around (for about a blink) but I was too young to have any memories. Regardless, I miss just about everything the 70's represent, not least of which is pop music that's actually...well, actually good.

Just when you thought you never wanted to hear anything "Pants on the Ground" ever again, Neil Young* proves you (and everyone else) wrong.

Fuck you, Skynyrd.



*So yeah, it's actually Jimmy Fallon and not Neil Young. Who cares? It's still awesome.

Is it just me or is that Betty White on your inner thigh?

As those of you that follow this thing know, we've seen some terrible tattoos in our time. We've even seen a few that are so ridiculous--so audacious--they turn terrible on it's ear and somehow emerge as pure awesomeness.

Yep. It's rare but it does happen. Anyone recall the Swayzaur? Yeah, exactly.

However, even the Swayzaur pales in comparison to this masterpiece in sheer absurdity.

Holy fuck, right?!

Not only do we have a Mt. Rushmore-esque panorama of Golden Girl deliciousness slathered across a set of thighs (the owner of which definitely seems too young to recall Blanche, Rose, Dorothy and Sophia in prime--or post-prime--glory) but we also have the phrase "Stay Gold." For those of you too young to recall, "Stay Gold" is the most famous quote from the 1983 movie The Outsiders, a quote that's actually in reference to the Robert Frost poem "Nothing Gold Can Stay."

All in all, this tat is a masterpiece in homage to the 80's. Sure, it won't look too pretty when it's owner is carrying it around 30 years from now, but I think that's a small price to pay to rock such unadulterated awesomeness. Even if only for a little while. Cheers.

One beer at a time

So in today's Daily Dose of Awesome, the story begins with a jaunt to the bank, courtesy of the lovely and talented Katee Jones. It's an absolutely beautiful fall day in Michigan. The kind of day that makes you love this state: a crisp 50 degrees and not a cloud in the sky; trees beginning to change colors and just the hint of a breeze complete the effect.

Due to a somewhat complicated set of circumstances, I worked yesterday (Saturday) but have all of today off. Cool, right? Seems to be a perfect day to just chillax and watch some football. Well, except for the fact that the 49ers have a bye this week and the Lions play with all the pussiance of a wounded baby seal...but I digress. Anyways, on the way back from the bank we have to pass right by Golfside Market, which is the closest liquor store to Casa de B2K. I figure a quick pitstop for some brews is in order.

As I'm walking in to the market, I notice an old homeless dude sitting on the curb out in the parking lot, but didn't really think anything of it. Of course, as Im perusing the beer aisle, the thought occurs to me: yeah, it's an almost perfect day outside, but it might not be almost perfect if I was homeless. It might, in point of fact, suck balls. But--if I was homeless--it would probably suck less (or smaller) balls if I had a beer to take the sting off the hand life was currently dealing me.

So I plunk down some cash, grab my brews and head back out into the wonderful sunshine. At this point I turn to said homeless guy and offer him a beer. He says yes, and thanks me as I hand him one.

Image courtesy of getaway driver Katee Jones

As I pick up my case and head to the car, he says something I can still hear ringing in my head. "Turned out to be a beautiful day, didn't it?"

I'm not sure if he was talking about the weather or my small generosity or both, but in retrospect it doesn't matter. The answer is the same either way: Yes. Yes, it surely did.

So I have a new crush...

And I mean "crush" in the most hetero, man-tastic way possible. Said crush is the band Steel Panther, which some of you may remember as the band Metal Skool (of Drew Carey's "Cleveland Rocks" fame) or Danger Kitty from the infamous Discover card commercial HERE.

While it seems amazing to me that a band that has been the recipient of the "Best Tribute Band in the Universe" award (All Access Magazine) should have escaped my noticed, that's not even the most incredible part. In addition to being glam-tastic (and as a child of the 80's, this is something I can appreciate), these dudes are fuckin hilarious. Okay, once again: how have I never heard of them?



These are the guys that have relesed albums titled Love Rocket, Hole Patrol (no, I'm not kidding) and Feel the Steel. Thier singles include the 2005 hit Fat Girl (Thar She Blows) and the recently released Community Property, the song that actually led to my discovery of these guys.

Said song includes such heartwarming lyrics as:

I would give you the stars in the sky
But they're too far away
If you were a hooker, you'd know
I'd be happy to pay
If suddenly you were a guy
I'd be suddenly gay
It goes on and gets better. But the video is truly epic. Check it out, yo. Crank it up and rock out, but know that it's NSFW. Cheers!

**Follow-up edit. It looks like the embedding was disabled by the by the artist, but you can still peep the video HERE.