We don't know what this is, exactly. But it's Metal as Fuck.

This is a photograph of a menu--for maybe the Coolest Restaurant Ever--that has been making the rounds on the internet. On the plus side, this place looks unbelievably awesome. On the downside, despite my googlestalking prowess, I can find neither hide nor hair of said restaurant's physical location.

The low prices rule out the Coasts, and the psuedo-Pagan/Satanic nature of the restaurant itself probably rules out the Bible Belt. Thus, I'm thinking somewhere in the Midwest or Great Plains. I could totally see this place being a huge hit in Sturgis during the bike rally, fwiw.

Regardless, if anyone has any idea where this place is actually located, please do your small part towards making the world a better place and post it on this blog so I can spread the word. Thanks all! \m/

(click on pic to enlarge for full awesomeness)

We don't care where you like it...

unless it's in the butt.

Seriously.

Apparently unemployed Womyn's Studies graduates everywhere have been scheming to come up with a clever new trick to communicate in secret and leave us slow, knuckle-dragging men blinking like brook trout in befuddled wonder.

"I like it on the floor," "I like it on the couch," "I like it on my desk" ... you may have seen some of these Facebook status updates in the last week.

But what is "it"?

It is for "purse." The Washington Post's Melissa Bell explains:

Women are posting where they like to keep their purses when they come home, but they conveniently leave out the word "purse." October is Breast Cancer Awareness month, and the "I like it on" trend is an attempt for women to unite around that cause in a top secret way. The idea is figuratively to leave men in the dark.

Let me tell you what else "it" is: it's fucking stupid. Sorry, girls. If you want to PM each other or get some sweet group email going that leaves us me out, we're totally fine with that. But broadcasting anything that can be ambiguously related to sex while attempting to "figuratively leave men in the dark" is just plain asinine.

What’s the point? To sit back and see clueless responses of us idiot males as we are stupefied by your mysterious and provocative nature? The sheer disdainfulness of that is akin to pointing out if your puns were intended.

"Hey stupid Y-chromosome, you see that play on words I just made? Yeah, well that wasn't an accident. In fact, I thought it was so clever that I didn't think your simple mind would be able to comprehend the brilliance of my play on words, and I wanted to make sure you know that those of us with ovaries are not only smart enough to use homonyms, but that we’re smart enough to point them out."

If you want to post something chock-full of random sexual innuendo, make it worth my while, please. "I like it on my face" is a good start. "I like it on my butterfly tattoo" works as well; assuming the ink is on your lower back, my mind will immediately wander to the target practice and the trajectories involved.
And of course "I like it in the butt" will more than likely prompt a trip to CVS so I can buy you a toothbrush.

But whatever you do, please don't confuse "it" with "that." Because, as we all know, some of us just won't do That.