Further proof that Ohio is The Suck...

Yes, I love Cedar Point. And Skyline Chili is awesome when you're wasted. But other than that Ohio pretty much blows. The fact that you're reading this blog means you're obviously an intelligent person, so this point should be self-evident.

However, if you had any doubts at all, I submit to you further proof.

Posted by Associated Press June 16, 2009 07:25AM

TOLEDO, Ohio — Some people here are complaining they received $25 parking tickets last week when their vehicles were parked in their own driveways.

Toledo Mayor Carty Finkbeiner defends the citations, saying they were issued under a city law against parking on unpaved surfaces--including gravel driveways.

The mayor, who's facing a recall vote, says he stands by the city's acting commissioner of Streets, Bridges and Harbor, Susan Frederick, who authorized the tickets.

During a news conference Monday, Finkbeiner ignored a reporter's question of whether the crackdown and fines are at all related to the city's budget crisis.

City Councilman D. Michael Collins calls the ticketing "Mickey Mouse nonsense." He has told residents he'll try to have the citations rescinded.

The three-term mayor faces a recall vote in November. Critics have claimed he's wasted city money.

City Councilman D. Michael Collins calls the ticketing "Mickey Mouse nonsense." He has told residents he'll try to have the citations rescinded.



Wow, I just don't have any comment for something that ridiculous...kind of speaks for itself. Enjoy. Link Here

Gayness finds a mascot. And there was much rejoicing.

One of the "advancements" of society that I'm most thankful for is a general acceptance of tattoos. I mean, when I was kid, pretty much the only people that had tattoos were soldiers, sailors and felons. Nowadays, you can catch some ink on doctors, lawyers and pretty much anyone else and it's no big deal.

Personally, I love tattoos. I have several, and plan on getting more. I like looking at tattoos, especially when they are located on attractive female real estate. This, in point of fact, is probably my biggest bitch about living in Michigan. Not the weather (2nd) or the lack of good sushi (3rd) but the virtual absence of hot chicks with tattoos.

Back in Cali I can go to any bar or club and check out a veritable bevy of hotties with ink--not to mention abs and fake boobs, all of which comprise B2K's Holy Trinity of Hotness--but in A2 and surrounds, babes like that seem to be an endangered species. But I'm waxing tangential right now. The point of this blog today wasn't about good tattoos, no matter how delicious their location. Nope, this one is about bad tattoos.

I've seen some bad tattoos in my day. Alot of them, actually. I have a cousin that has been striving since he was 15 years old to be Professional White Trash, so I can thank Rob for much of that. In addition, if you spend any time in a South Georgia trailer park (and I've spent alot of time there, folks) you will indubitably see some bad ink.

However, all the bad ink I've ever personally winessed doesn't even come close to something I saw today. Imagine a mental picture of Neal Patrick Harris wearing assless chaps and riding a unicorn. Now imagine that picture committed to ink on your flesh in a very, very permanent fashion. Got the idea?



Okay, so it's Patrick Swayze and not NPH. And he's not riding a unicorn, but he's a fuckin centaur! And there's no assless chaps involved but, comsidering the rest of the tattoo, there probably should be. This thing isn't even bad in the usual sense; is so awesomely bad that it's kind of cool. Seriously. I mean, if I was gay, I would have thi shit as my coat-of-arms. Dragon in flight or lion rampant? Fuck that, gimme the Swayzaur.

That is all. Cheers, people.

2 girls 1, sub

Regardless of what you think about the quality of subs that Quiznos produces, you have to absolutely love their moxie when it comes to advertising. Check out the follwing internet ad "2 girls, 1 sub."



This is, of course a spoof off "2 girls, 1 cup" (which I will most definitely NOT link, but if you've been living an a cave and wish to do the internet search on your own feel free...as long as you're prepared to be really and truly disgusted*) and Quizno's didn't actually produce this ad. But Playboy did, and Quizno's had to give tacit approval or there would be lawsuits flying right now.

I'm a fan of just about anything that gives the Finger to Clearchannel and the other Zombie Media outlets that produce sanitized, homogenized bullshit for our mass consumption. Thus, I love this. I feel redundant in giving props to Playboy, but I'm all about showing Quiznos some love for this; I think a turkey, bacon & avocado might be in order tomorrow after the gym. Mmmm...toasty.

Cheers, all.


*By "disgusted" I mean that if you have a sensitive stomach, you will probably vomit all over your computer. I'm not kidding. Do the internet seach if you want, but don't say I didn't warn you.

Back on the loan horse? Maybe...

For those of you that don't know, I spent almost four years in California selling loans; three of which were fiscally the best years of my life (by far) and one of which was the worst.

Since getting laid off by Countrywide in July of 2008 I have been exceptionally leery of any kind of Loan Officer (LO) job. Most of them out there are 100% commission and the nature of the mortgage biz is such that it invariably takes 30-60 days to see a commission paycheck from the day you start working, and I haven't had the cash reserves necessary (or seen an opportunity I liked enough) to give it a run.

But something has changed; about a week ago a good friend turned me on to an ad he saw in Careerbuilder about a LO position. Turns out it's for a major bank. Citigroup, in fact. Yes, that Citigroup; the second largest financial institution in America and third largest in the world. I had my telphone pre-interview on Monday and my first real interview today.

During my interview I find out that Citi has their retention division located right here in Ann Arbor, MI; "retention" meaning that the only thing they focus on is refinancing current Citi clients. Finally, the gig starts off with a really solid base pay, unlimited overtime opportunity and a commission structure that puts most LOs back in a tax bracket not far where where I used to be not too long ago.

Are you fucking kidding me? The best job I've ever had in my entire life was selling loans for Ameriquest, when I was part of their Portfolio Retention (PR) division located in Sacramento...basically doing this exact same job. I'd probably still be there today if I hadn't learned that PR's closing (and my being laid off) was imminent back in late 2006. I went job hunting that November and PR ended up closing it's doors three months later, laying off over a thousand LOs with no notice.

So somehow it just so happened that two years later I moved back to this little midwestern town--not because of any job or career opportunity, but because I love it here--and come to find out that less than ten miles from my house is the hub one of the world's major financial instititutions that specializes in one of the few things on earth that A.)I really like, B.)Am extraordinarily good at, and C.)Can get paid (well) to do.

The interview went well. I'll keep y'all posted but I'm mentally swimming right now...this whole damn thing just feels serendipitious. Cheers, all.