You are not David Beckham. PS, your English sucks.

Socks, assholes. Wear them. I have no idea where this new trend of dudes not wearing socks with shoes started coming back, but you hipster douchetards make me want to puke.

This is David Beckham. He is a multi-millionaire soccer player/model. He can get away with wearing no socks; primarily because he can afford a small army of people wash/pedi/powder his feet. I'm sure it seems like the cool guy thing go sockless with your Tom's or loafers, but it is not. Give socks a try, swampfoot. Your peeps will thank you.

On the list of Hipster Things That Annoy Me, how about the overuse of the word "Epic." It's annoying and dumb, primarily because it's just bad English. Look, I realize that as generations pass, people want to use different "cool words" from the previous generation, but the gross overuse of epic for everything dilutes the meaning of the word.

Using words like "epic" to describe how extremely impressed you are by everything has ruined the word. If everything is epic, nothing is epic.

Front lawn seats to Tiësto are not fucking epic, dickface. Epic means "massive and imposing in scale or size." Oceans are epic; lengthy literary narratives are epic; space is epic. Your dinner last night or game of disc golf last Sunday was not epic.

/rant

That is all.

Sometimes I Hate Facebook

For the record, I love Facebook. In addition to allowing me to connect to people I've met living all over the country, it provides delightful entertainment at times. Sadly, there are times when the bumrush of idiocy outweighs the entertainment value for me. One issue I have with Facebook is that it tends to bring out the stupid in people. Or rather, it allows the stupid in people to be broadcasted instantly and forcefully, in the form of inane Facebook updates.

First up we have the Quasi-Pious Update.
Leon ****** needs 2 jus wait 4 GOD 2 reveal my purpose, instead of trying 2 rush GOD 2 reveal my purpose.
Really? That's awesome. And i'm glad you saved so much time typing 2 instead to laboring to spell out to. Not to sound like the crotchety old man yelling "get off my lawn!" but how fucking lazy is that? And if it's not laziness, that's even worse, because you think it's cool. Guess what? Letters like U and R can mean words like You and Are! Sweet, huh? Douchetard.

How about the Superfluous Letter Update?
Erica ****** ♥ 's her bayybeeee!!!!
WTF? Call me old and crotchety (again) but I just don't get it when girlsss talk likeeee thissss I just don't understand what the need for those extra letters is. And when the hell did HANGIN WITH THE BESTIES become a fucking team sport?

And I loves me some Bullshit Internet Quote Update.
Wait for the guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, will stay awake just to watch you sleep...Wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, Who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without make up, one who is constantly reminding you how much he cares and how lucky is he to have you. Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "...that's her."
Bullshit and bullshit again, I say. Girls that post crap like this are the same type of girls that cheat on guys who act like that. Enough said.

Finally, we need to include the Meathead Douchebag Gym Update.
Mike ****** dear Jack3d and AMP whey protein and pro preformance creatine 189, thank you for letting me bench 250 lbs 2x, that's almost double my body weight and makes me feel awesome
Dear Mike, nobody cares. Not about what supplements you're using to mold your 13-inch guns, nor about what routine you are doing down at the Y, and not even about which product you use in your hair.

On second thought, that's amazing. What product are you using in your hair?

Further proof that Ohio is The Suck...

Yes, I love Cedar Point. And Skyline Chili is awesome when you're wasted. But other than that Ohio pretty much blows. The fact that you're reading this blog means you're obviously an intelligent person, so this point should be self-evident.

However, if you had any doubts at all, I submit to you further proof.

Posted by Associated Press June 16, 2009 07:25AM

TOLEDO, Ohio — Some people here are complaining they received $25 parking tickets last week when their vehicles were parked in their own driveways.

Toledo Mayor Carty Finkbeiner defends the citations, saying they were issued under a city law against parking on unpaved surfaces--including gravel driveways.

The mayor, who's facing a recall vote, says he stands by the city's acting commissioner of Streets, Bridges and Harbor, Susan Frederick, who authorized the tickets.

During a news conference Monday, Finkbeiner ignored a reporter's question of whether the crackdown and fines are at all related to the city's budget crisis.

City Councilman D. Michael Collins calls the ticketing "Mickey Mouse nonsense." He has told residents he'll try to have the citations rescinded.

The three-term mayor faces a recall vote in November. Critics have claimed he's wasted city money.

City Councilman D. Michael Collins calls the ticketing "Mickey Mouse nonsense." He has told residents he'll try to have the citations rescinded.



Wow, I just don't have any comment for something that ridiculous...kind of speaks for itself. Enjoy. Link Here