Some Folks Just Need Killin...

Take four minutes and watch this video. Warning: it's graphic as fuck. But it still needs to be watched.

ISIS Death Squads In Iraq

People need to understand what we are dealing with here. This is the random slaughter of civilians...for fun. There's no rhyme or reason to it; they are just doing it because they can. And because they think it will inspire terror, which will in turn make it easier for them to complete their objective of a unified Sunni Caliphate that spans the breadth Iraqi and the Levant (the Levant is the Syria/Jordan/Palestine region of the Near East, for the uninitiated.) It's pure Sun Tzu; kill one to terrify ten thousand. But there's a difference here.

Civil war is one thing. Combat is combat and soldiers die, but these guys aren't simply killing soldiers. These are civilians being slaughtered. And this video is just the tip of the iceberg on ISIS atrocities. If you're feeling morbid, or just curious, you can go find beheadings, crucifixions, and all other manner of horrors committed against civilians by these fucks in recent weeks.

Take a look, people. Evil is real. It exists. And every "COEXIST" bumper sticker on the face of the earth is not going to change that fact. It's okay--admirable, in fact--to hope and strive for a better world. But it's tragic and stupid to forget the actual world we live in today.

We live in world where evil exists. And some folks just need killing. Think about this video the next time you see a sign/bumper sticker/whatever that says "No Blank Check For Endless War" or some other trite bullshit.

Sometimes good men with guns are the only solution to evil me with guns. As Jeff Cooper, LTC, USMC and firearms pioneer once said:

"The rifle is a weapon. Let there be no mistake about that. It is a tool of power, and thus dependent completely upon the moral stature of its user. It is equally useful in securing meat for the table, destroying group enemies on the battlefield, and resisting tyranny. In fact, it is the only means of resisting tyranny, since a citizenry armed with rifles simply cannot be tyrannized." 

"The rifle itself has no moral stature, since it has no will of its own. Naturally, it may be used by evil men for evil purposes, but there are more good men than evil, and while the latter cannot be persuaded to the path of righteousness by propaganda, they can certainly be corrected by good men with rifles."

Amen.

So, you like Game of Thrones?

Maybe you just got into Fantasy. Maybe you succumbed to the hype and watched Game of Thrones on HBO, then decided to read the George R.R. Martin (GRRM) books. Congratulations! However, you’re probably now in a quandary, since you have discovered that you actually like this stuff, but you have no idea where to find more of it. In that case, you’ve come to the right place.

Yes, I know there are other lists out there. Like this one. But that one sucks. I’ve read 80% of the books on that list and, while a few of them very clearly influenced GRRM, most of them are nothing at all like A Song of Ice and Fire.

As someone who’s been reading Fantasy since the 1980’s, I find it fairly gratifying that a somewhat significant slice of popular culture has at last come around to the proverbial Dark Side. On the other hand, it’s a bit annoying to me on multiple levels.

First, because you people have no goddamn idea how good you have it. Fantasy these days is so good. I would put the best Fantasy authors of 2014 up against the best fiction authors of any other genre in a heartbeat. That certainly wasn’t so 25 years ago. Yeah, there was always Tolkien. And there were certain other creations of brilliance (Earthsea, Melnibone, etc.) but for the most part reading the best Fantasy back then was equal parts wonder at the author’s world-building and frustration at his (or her) limited character development and simple archetypes. You know the story.

A young boy grows up in a remote somewhere. A Stranger comes unannounced on day, telling him know go on a Quest to perform something. If he doesn’t do this, the great evil Thingamajig will destroy the world as he knows it. Our young Hero stumbles out on his quest, losing his way many times, but eventually triumphing over Evil, and maturing much in the process.

That type of Fantasy has its uses, but Light vs Dark/Pure Good vs True Evil doesn’t resonate with most of us, because we understand that real life is far more nuanced. Call it a simpler worldview for a simpler time, if you will; Tolkien, after all, used World War One as one of his primary influences when writing The Lord of the Rings.

Ursula Le Guin’s Earthsea quartet. David Eddings’ Belgariad. Terry Brooks’ Shannara trilogy. Margaret Weiss and Tracey Hickman’s Dragonlance series., Raymond Feist’s Riftwar saga. R.A. Salvatore’s Dark Elf trilogy. Tad Williams’ Memory, Sorrow and Thorn. Janny Wurts’ Cycle of Fire trilogy…I could go on and on. These Fantasy entries from the 80’s and 90’s were all very similar in basic plot—see above. Hell, even Robert Jordan’s Wheel of Time started out in such a fashion (the first book was published in 1990) before evolving into something much more along the course of 14 volumes and 23 years.

But all that has changed. Fantasy today is more cynical, nuanced, gritty, brutal, darker and in all ways more real; at least by the standards of the world we live in. You can certainly thank GRRM for that. No, he wasn’t the first to pen Fantasy in such a fashion, but he was the first to pen Epic Fantasy in such a fashion—at least to mass-market success.

It takes a certain kind of person to like GRRM’s books. You have to like long, involved, complicated, epic (the true definition of “epic”) narratives. So, if you’re that person—the kind of person that thinks 500 pages is a “light read”—then the following list is for you. I’ve listed these alphabetically by author, so as not to attempt to “list” or “rank” them, although it’s very obvious that one series stands out as my clear favorite. Enjoy!

The First Law Trilogy, by Joe Abercrombie. Not nearly as complicated as GRRMs work, but still an excellent foray into modern Fantasy, with realistic and multifaceted characters and a plotline that is equal parts gritty, brutal and humorous.

The Prince of Nothing, by R. Scott Bakker. Dark, dark, dark. I didn’t think it was possible to enjoy a story this much while not liking any of the protagonists. Bakker’s protagonists are flawed, imperfect and believably villainous; yes, those are the “good guys.”  His antagonists, however, are Eeevilllll (like the fru-its of the Devilll). There’s a lot of pain, misery, and damnation to go around in this tale. Did I mention that this shit is intricate and complex? It is. Think GRRM. The first half of the first book is slow going, whilst you familiarize yourself with the world of Earwa. But the payoff is well worth it.

The Malazan Book of the Fallen, by Steven Erikson. Quite simply, the Malazan Book of the Fallen (MBotF) is the greatest thing I have ever read in my entire life, and I believe Erikson is not only the greatest Fantasy writer, but the greatest writer of fiction—any fiction—on earth. 10 volumes and 9000+ pages spanning multiple worlds and over 100,000 years. Hundreds of POV characters. Thousands of different dramatis personae. Reading this series is work. In addition to the complexity, volume one is a bit disjointed and of a noticeably lower quality than the rest of the series, and it isn’t until halfway through the third book that we start to get a sense  of the Big Picture. But they payoff—for what at times might feel slogging through and struggling to make sense—is just sooo worth it. Oh, and make sure you have some Kleenex handy. You may or may not ball like a little bitch at times whilst reading this.  

The Wheel of Time, by Robert Jordan. This one really shouldn’t need an introduction. This is the 800-pound gorilla of Fantasy, the Epic saga by which all other levels of Epic-ness are judged. No, really. 14 volumes. Around 13,000 pages. Hundreds of different POV characters. Super quick TL;DR synopsis: books 1-6 are outstanding. From there the series starts to drag from books 7-11. 12-14 are fantastic, and remind you why you started reading in the first place. If you need something long and complicated to hold your interest, this is your huckleberry.

The Kingkiller Chronicles, by Patrick Rothfuss. The books are absolutely wonderful. The only legitimate gripe I have is that—much like GRRM—Rothfuss is a slow writer.  The Name of the Wind was released in 2007, with a The Wise Man’s Fear following in 2011, and that’s all we have so far. Doors of Stone is currently slated for an August 2015 release.

The Stormlight Archives, by Brandon Sanderson. By the time this is done, it might even surpass Erikson’s MBotF as the greatest Fantasy series ever. It’s certainly right up there. Only two volumes down so far, but that’s over 2000 pages. Luckily, Sanderson is a fast writer (this is the guy that was hand-picked by Robert Jordan to finish off the Wheel of Time series after Jordan’s death) so we should be able to expect a new volume every 18-24 months or so for the next decade.

The Lightbringer Series, by Brent Weeks. This one starts out as typical “high fantasy” (young hero, quest, etc. See above.) but gets murky and awesome almost immediately after that. There have only been two books released so far (volume 3 hits the shelves in August of 2014) but the story has been exceptional so far.

Faith Doesn't Trump Math, Dickheads

It's amazing how this is being noted as "faith questioned." I mean, unless you are an imbecile. 

From Bloomberg:
"Detroit’s record municipal bankruptcy may set precedents for how retirees and bondholders are prioritized when a locality falls into distress. It’s poised to test the assumption in the municipal-debt market that states and cities will raise taxes as high as necessary to make full payments on bonds backed by their full faith and credit."

As high as necessary eh?

So a city or other municipality can raise taxes to 100% of residents income if necessary to pay bondholders, and should? Bondholders should assume that such a premise exists?

There are plenty of people who are spending too much time in Denver smoking bong hits among these so-called "investors" and ratings agencies.  I say this because there is plenty of evidence that raising taxes provides a disincentive to behavior and, what's worse, people CAN and DO move to lawfully avoid paying said taxes.

The premise of "full faith and credit" is therefore at the outset a lie to the extent that anyone believes it means that a government can raise taxes "as high as are necessary" to make bond payments.  They can certainly try but rates are immaterial; what matters is how much you collect.

If you have a 100% tax rate but the response is that the population all quits working and sits on their ass, collecting from the public dole instead, you get zero from that tax in actual revenue.

Isn't it funny how nobody wants to talk about that little problem, even when we have Detroit as a shining example of the consequences of failing to do so?

Brace yourself. Or, as we used to say in the Army, BOHICA...

The market has selling off substantially for over 24 hours now, with no visible signs of stopping.  

The real story is in the FX markets which are utterly going apeshit, along with the Treasury Curve which is blowing wildly higher (rates); the TNX is now +5.9% on the day (10 year).  The odd part of this is that the 30 year is only up 2.4% -- but the FVX (5 year) is up a stunning 15% -- straight up. Mortgage backed securities have fallen over 200 basis points in the last 36 hours. Gold is plummeting as well.

Reduce risk folks—the FX moves alone are going to generate some very interesting margin activity over the next couple of days, and coming right into the maw of a Quad Expiration along with the bond market moves..... oh boy.

What we have here is a massive clusterfuck.  "QE" has been a disaster, irrespective of what you think about Bernanke's "crisis management."  The fact of the matter is that the "crisis" was in 2007 and 2008, The Fed caused it with its policies back in 2001-2004 and through willful and intentional failures in supervision of the banks and non-banks through 2007 and Bernanke was both there and then running the show during that time; in point of fact he was one of the chief cheerleaders for Greenspan's policies during that time period!

You can always trust the guy who blew it to blow it again and that's exactly what has happened.  Not necessarily hyperinflation; what we've done is grossly inflate fast-money asset prices while the rest of the economy does not merit those prices.

Any sort of dispassionate analysis must arrive at the same end-point--the gross and outrageous distortion of borrowing costs and "easy money" have massively diluted the currency while at the same time has led corporations to make radically uneconomic decisions that only work due to those distortions, but during the time they're in place they are the only reasonable way to satisfy investors.

That is a recipe for a massive reversion back to value and what's worse is that the costs, particularly the rollover risks that have now become embedded through the economy, are going to screw people up, down and sideways.

You and I don't see these risks because rollover risk is something that most consumers never deal with (except for those who were in Option ARMs during the bubble, of course—they got a lesson in it first-hand and most of them went ka-boom because they were stupid.)  But for corporations and governments this risk is a daily issue that never goes away.  Schools, roads, capital equipment in business and even operating expenses are often rolled up into various financing packages none of which are typically amortized to completion and retired--they are instead rolled over continually because this makes your operating results look much better than they otherwise would.

The problem is that this "picture" of the health of your enterprise is dangerously distorted.  The fact of the matter is that debt, when taken to increase production, can be beneficial provided you can and do retire it at a rate that exceeds the economic service life of whatever it buys.  When it is rolled over on a continual basis it is not beneficial; it simply adds leverage to your enterprise, whether a company or a government.

The reality of leverage is that it amplifies results, both on the upside and the downside. It's a math thing, and since we refused to learn this in 2007 we will get taught the lesson again—soon.

Brace.

We're Number One...in San Francisco??

Really? How did this happen?

I guess it explains much regarding me, personally. I did--for reasons unknown--grow up in a household that loved the University of Michigan. I can remember watching Michigan play in the Rose Bowl (what seemed like) every single year; my father going on and on about how great Bo Schembechler was and how what a  great academic school UM was.

"The Berkeley of the Midwest," he called it.

Something must have stuck. Because here I am; almost 30 years later and 2500 miles away. But you know what; turns out I didn't grow up in an isolated household. In fact, it turns a lot out people in San Franscisco love the University of Michigan.

How much?

According to Deadspin, more than any other college competing in this year's NCAA basketball tourney. More than longtime powers Duke, UNC and Kansas. More even than local entrants St. Mary's (from nearby Moraga) or UC Berkeley, who's main campus is only a jaunt across the Bay Bridge away.

Here's Deadspin regarding teams that failed to win the popular vote of their local surrounding areas.

"That leaves Cal as the most baffling: the prestigious public university didn’t manage to snag even one of the eight counties that make up the Bay Area. One went to also-local Saint Mary’s, six went to Kansas, Duke, or UNC, and San Francisco, for some reason, went to Michigan."

So I guess there's only one thing left to say.

HAIL.

That "can't happen here." Bullshit, it can't. It already has.

Anyone remember what happened 71 years ago this week?

Probably not.

On February 19th, 1942 FDR willfully and intentionally violated The Constitution, an act for which he should have been impeached. I am speaking of the Executive Order 9066, more commonly referred to as Japanese Internment--the rounding up of over 100,000 people who were frog-marched into Concentration Camps on American soil.  Far more than half of these people were American Citizens with a full and complete set of alleged Constitutional Rights.

We, America, did this.

We, America, imprisoned our own citizens without trial, without suspicion, without due process of law and without evidence. We did so merely on their genetic code and the ancestry of their parents. We did this on American soil and through the American mainland, not in some foreign combat zone.

I repeat:  We, Americans, did this.

We did this here.  We not only took these people's freedom without cause we dispossessed them of every worldly thing they owned that was not able to be carried in their hands at the time they were rounded up.

 Those who are in our government in any capacity, local, state or federal, and state that our government "would never do such a thing" are factual liars, as our government has already proved through its own actions that it not only will do so, but has done exactly that.

NEVER AGAIN is not just for Jewish people. 

It is for us all.

It's not about hunting, idiots...

In the wake of the Sandy Hook tragedy, I have tried to stay out of the Gun Control debate all weekend, due to the fact that I have very firm feelings. But one thing that struck me over the weekend is this: to a man, every single proponent of firmer gun control laws talked about how certain types of firearms are "unnecessary" for hunting or self defense. These weren't just journalists, but politicians as well.

Funny, how not a single one of them points out that the Second Amendment wasn't established with hunting in mind at all, and self-defense being a very small reason. I haven't heard a SINGLE person (so called "expert") bring up the fact that the Second Amendment was in fact established to vouchsafe the populace against the tyranny of government. The United States government. Yours and mine.

"The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government." – Thomas Jefferson 

The fact that none of these politicians bring this up should surprise me, but does not. Governments by nature want to hold on to (and/or grow) their power. Firearms threaten that, which therefore makes sense that you don't hear about this (most important) aspect of the Second Amendment.

"The natural progress of things is for liberty to yield and government to gain ground." – Thomas Jefferson 

The greatest enemy of a police state Big Brother government is a populace that is both well-informed and armed. Since the US was established and the Constitution drafted, governments across the world have killed hundreds of millions of people--their own citizens. Not so in the US, and there is a reason for that.

"This year will go down in history. For the first time, a civilized nation has full gun registration. Our streets will be safer, our police more efficient, and the world will follow our lead into the future!" 

– Adolph Hitler [1935] The Weapons Act of Nazi Germany. 

I have heard it surmised that the Founders of our government never envisioned a world where one could purchase an .223 AR-15 with a 30-round magazine when they drafted the Declaration of Independence; that this document was drafted based on a world of muskets that required 20 seconds to load, aim and fire a single round. That's utter hogwash and anyone spewing that drivel either A.)Has an agenda, or B.)Doesn't understand the purpose of the Second Amendment. It was put in place so that average citizens could--in the event of tyranny or dictatorship--band together in the form of organized militias (almost exactly as they did during the Revolutionary War) in order to combat the forces of the government. If the intent is to ensure the population can effectively combat soldiers that in 2012 are carrying M-4s and SCAR-17s, then of course it makes sense that the average citizen should be able to purchase one.

"Germans who wish to use firearms should join the SS or the SA--ordinary citizens don't need guns, as their having guns doesn't serve the State." – Heinrich Himmler 

The Second Amendment ensures that the government is sufficiently scared of the population, which is exactly what it is intended for. The Second Amendment is what gives teeth to the rest of the Bill of Rights, and ensures "government of the people, by the people, for the people." The rights to freedoms of speech, assembly, religion, etc. don't mean squat without the Second Amendment, because it is the right to bear arms that ensures the people are in power.

"When the government fears the people, it is liberty. When the people fear the government, it is tyranny." – Thomas Paine

Sadly, this liberty has a price; collateral damage. We see it every day, According to the CDC, approximately 19,000 people were murdered in America in 2009; that's roughly 46 people per day. I won't get into the rise of mass murders over the last few decades, which in my mind is more a function of the use/abuse of psychotropic drugs amongst our youth than anything else. But the bottom line is this: people die every day through violence in America. And this is a side effect of living in a free society. It sucks, and I would love for us to find a way as a society to make it better.

The hard question is: is it an acceptable side effect of living in a free society? I would say it is. But that's a hard question that most people don't want to answer. How do you tell someone that lost a loved one in a shooting that it was "acceptable collateral damage"? It's not nice, it's not polite, and it's certainly not politically correct. But it's still accurate.

"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." – Benjamin Franklin 

But when you accept the fact that we are debating the future of a nation, and the rights of your children and your children's children to grow up in free society, then it's a hard question that must be asked.

"Make yourself sheep and the wolves will eat you." – Benjamin Franklin 

 And we all know how I feel about sheep.

I Am The Sheepdog

“We know that the sheep live in denial; that is what makes them sheep. They do not want to believe that there is evil in the world. They can accept the fact that fires can happen, which is why they want fire extinguishers, fire sprinklers, fire alarms and fire exits throughout their kids’ schools. But many of them are outraged at the idea of putting an armed police officer in their kid’s school. Our children are dozens of times more likely to be killed, and thousands of times more likely to be seriously injured, by school violence than by school fires, but the sheep’s only response to the possibility of violence is denial. The idea of someone coming to kill or harm their children is just too hard, so they choose the path of denial.

The sheep generally do not like the sheepdog. He looks a lot like the wolf. He has fangs and the capacity for violence. The difference, though, is that the sheepdog must not, cannot and will not ever harm the sheep. Any sheepdog who intentionally harms the lowliest little lamb will be punished and removed. The world cannot work any other way, at least not in a representative democracy or a republic such as ours.

Still, the sheepdog disturbs the sheep. He is a constant reminder that there are wolves in the land. They would prefer that he didn’t tell them where to go, or give them traffic tickets, or stand at the ready in our airports in camouflage fatigues holding an M-16. The sheep would much rather have the sheepdog cash in his fangs, spray paint himself white, and go, “Baa.”

Until the wolf shows up. Then the entire flock tries desperately to hide behind one lonely sheepdog.” – LTC Dave Grossman, US Army (Retired)

Damn skippy, Colonel. Damn skippy.

Hello, Cedar Point!

Life is a roller coaster. An amazing, topsy-turvy ride full of thrills, screams and everything in between. I've had an interesting week, folks. But in the midst of right crosses out of left field, I never could have possibly imagined that the part of my week I've been dreading for weeks would have been the single best thing about it.



Go figure, huh? Live every minute, my friends. Enjoy the ride. Cheers.

Serenity now, people...

Yes, it was a bad bad BAD sports weekend is Southeast Michigan. As someone that is not only a huge sports fan, but also a resident of this area I get that. But you people need to chill the fuck out.

No. Like seriously.


Yes, Michigan lost to State. And the Tigers got knocked out of the playoffs. And the Lions dropped a hard-fought battle to the 49ers. So I get that it sucked. I feel it. But can we just please step back and get some perspective?

First, did anyone expect the Wolverines to go undefeated this year before the season started? If you answer "yes" to this you are a damn liar. Considering the shit sandwich Rodriguez left behind for Hoke, 6-0 was a damn fine start. Once O$U started imploding, it was pretty obvious that Sparty was going to be the toughest opponent on our schedule all season. We went on the road and came within one bad play of tying the game in the 4th quarter, despite MSU having a whole lot more talent and depth on both offensive a defensive lines. Yes, Borges playcalling was suspect, and his failure to compensate for State sending blitz after blitz over the middle is inexcusable.

It sucks because Sparty showed why they will always be Little Brother. They have no class, and that starts at the top. But what else would you expect from a head coach that went to O$U and an athletic department that covers up it's players assaulting the student body (sexually and otherwise) on the regular? It sucks for guys like Mike Martin, who have played thier guts out for four years and will never be able to say they beat those assclowns from Moo U up the road. Thanks, Rich. Thank, Bill Martin.

But at the end of the day, we were beaten by a better team. Michigan is still going to win 9 or 10 games this year, and starting in 2013, MSU might not win a game in the series for a decade. They better enjoy it now.

Next up: Tigers. Enjoy the moment, people. I don't remember Nolan Ryan or Sandy Koufax pitching in their prime, but when I am 70 years old sitting on my rocking chair, I will be telling my grandkids about watching Justin Verlander pitch back in 2011. This Tigers team never should have made it as far as they did; sit back and enjoy the moment, rather than taking every opportunity to bash the team, Leyland, etc.

Finally, the Lions. Seriously, people? San Francisco is a damn good team. Once again, who thought before the season that the Detoit Lions were going to the Super Bowl? (I feel like I'm taking crazy pills for even putting those two in the same sentence, but yes, they do belong there together) Who still thinks they are going? Newsflash: no chance. Not with that offensive line. So this is still a rebuilding year. Enjoy it, for fuck's sake!



This moment of clarity is brought to you by John Cusack, circa 1989.

Ruminations...

"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."
--Michael Jordan

So...yeah. There is that. Seems particularly fitting this month. If I was a glass half-empty sort of guy, I would have looked at 2008-2009 as 24 wasted months; the most egregious period of sustained failure in my entire life. But I tend to believe everything happens for a reason.

I didn't always. After my father died, I lost faith in God/YHWH/Buddha/Odin/LRonHubbard and the universe itself. I ceased believing in that "things happen for a reason" line. But maybe--just maybe--they really do.

Maybe the key is to never stop learning, and to keep an objective lens pointed upon yourself; not your words but your deeds. It's easier said than done and is sometimes rather painful. I have regrets over the last year, for sure. But I never have to regret not saying how I felt; that was one lesson I learned the first time around.

And life is good, my friends. So good.

Cheers.

You are not David Beckham. PS, your English sucks.

Socks, assholes. Wear them. I have no idea where this new trend of dudes not wearing socks with shoes started coming back, but you hipster douchetards make me want to puke.

This is David Beckham. He is a multi-millionaire soccer player/model. He can get away with wearing no socks; primarily because he can afford a small army of people wash/pedi/powder his feet. I'm sure it seems like the cool guy thing go sockless with your Tom's or loafers, but it is not. Give socks a try, swampfoot. Your peeps will thank you.

On the list of Hipster Things That Annoy Me, how about the overuse of the word "Epic." It's annoying and dumb, primarily because it's just bad English. Look, I realize that as generations pass, people want to use different "cool words" from the previous generation, but the gross overuse of epic for everything dilutes the meaning of the word.

Using words like "epic" to describe how extremely impressed you are by everything has ruined the word. If everything is epic, nothing is epic.

Front lawn seats to Tiësto are not fucking epic, dickface. Epic means "massive and imposing in scale or size." Oceans are epic; lengthy literary narratives are epic; space is epic. Your dinner last night or game of disc golf last Sunday was not epic.

/rant

That is all.

The wisdom of Jon Favreau

The following is my single-favorite exchange from the movie Swingers, one of my all-time favorites and a requisite for any guy. This sums up a semi-recent experience of mine nicely:

Mike: Okay, so what if I don't want to give up on her?
Rob: You don't call.
Mike: But you said I don't call if I wanted to give up on her.
Rob: Right.
Mike: So I don't call either way?
Rob: Right.
Mike: So what's the difference?
Rob: There is no difference right now. See, Mike, the only difference between giving up and not giving up is if you take her back when she wants to come back. But you can't do anything to make her want to come back. In fact, you can only do stuff to make her not want to come back.
Mike: So the only difference is if I forget about her or just pretend to forget about her?
Rob: Right.
Mike: Well that sucks.
Rob: Yeah, it sucks.
Mike: So it's just like a retroactive decision, then? I mean I could, like, forget about her and then when she comes back make like I just pretended to forget about her?
Rob: Right. Although probably more likely the opposite.
Mike: What do you mean?
Rob: I mean at first you're going to pretend to forget about her, you'll not call her, I don't know, whatever... but then eventually, you really will forget about her.
Mike: Well what if she comes back first?
Rob: Mmmm... see, that's the thing, is somehow they know not to come back until you really forget.
Mike: There's the rub.
Rob: There's the rub.


She cancelled on me today. Again. But this time something was different. First, I knew she was going to. Second--and more importantly--I didn't care. I didn't care and it didn't hurt.

Dear God, what a blessed relief.

Never underestimate the power of a long drive to clear your head. I had two this last weekend and I've managed to think and re-think and think again. I guess something in me finally lost the will to fight; to keep on caring more than she did and put as much as I could into this roller-coaster ride while she clearly did not. (11 days ago she's talking about moving in together come September and for the last week she's been "too busy" to hang out for something as simple as having lunch together. WTF is that?)

I'm done wondering. It doesn't matter. Somehow the hole I've been carrying around in the pit of my stomach since February is gone. I don't know what's next, but I look forward to life (for a while at least) without expectations. Damn, it feels good.

Ohio State is SOOOO screwed

This keeps getting better and better. According to this outstanding article by SPORTSbyBROOKS, more sniffing has uncovered the fact that Ohio State Athletic Director Gene Smith redacted specific emails to exclude the name of Ray Small, a former OSU player that received extra benefits similar to the Tat 5.



"Why would he redact Small's name?" you ask? Simple. Small had graduated recently enough that his improper benefits would still fall under the statue of limitations for which OSU could be punished, BUT as he had already left school, the NCAA has no subpoena power over him. The only way the NCAA could have busted OSU on this was if they somehow got their hands on the original, unedited emails. Which they did. Ouch.

Ohio State continuing to redact Small’s name from the complete set of emails is all the more troubling (for them) considering the comments made by Smith in announcing penalties against the football program on Dec. 23, 2010.

At that time, six Buckeyes were cited by Smith for taking extra benefits. But those players did not include Small, who had also committed violations that the NCAA could consider actionable. Despite that fact, Smith said at the time:

“There are no other NCAA violations around this case. We’re very fortunate that we do not have a systemic problem in our program. This is isolated to these young men, and isolated to this particular instance.”

Smith knew of Small’s NCAA rules-violating activities involving Rife, which were inside the NCAA’s statute of limitations, when he made that statement. If Smith believed that Small’s actions were not subject to NCAA penalties, why did Ohio State redact Small’s name from the later-released, complete Cicero-Tressel email correspondence while revealing former Buckeye T.J. Downing’s name?

Clearly Smith misrepresented the situation within the Ohio State program with his comments on Dec. 23, 2010, to the media - at the very least as it pertained to Small.

Put more bluntly, he lied.

So now this isn't just a case of a "rogue coach" or a a few "bad seeds." This is--plain and simple--systemic cheating at the highest level within the athletic department at Ohio State.

Grab your popcorn, kids. This is getting fun.

Starlight on waves

I'm may not be the most intelligent guy out there, but I feel like I've probably accumulated a little wisdom in my thirty-odd years of life. Usually wisdom comes in the form of experience, and it seem experience usually comes via bad choices. Ofttimes the wreckage and debris of these choices can clutter our perception for years to come. The trick, I try to remind myself often, is to keep your perspective correct.

The are moments, my friends, that shine in our memories for years thereafter. Moments of happiness, of joy, of triumph, of glory, of love. If the span of our years is a journey mostly filled with routine, the dull and banal, these moments shine. They glitter, like the fire of starlight on a windy sea at night.


Sadly, sometimes--most times, if we dare admit it to ourselves--the star flares out, gutters and burns itself to ash. All that remains is the memory of starlight on the waves. And if we are not careful, we can find ourselves looking back on these moments with a sense of sadness or loss; but that path leads to bitterness an despair.

No my friends, instead think back in happiness that you were there; in joy and gratitude that you were able to experience it in the first place. That way lies the path to peace and serenity. So smile my friends and if you must weep, weep with joy. For if one holds on to the memories of those great moments, it is always easier to find beauty in the mundane. Tears--for example--can glimmer like stars if you look at them in the correct light.

Happy Easter.

Today on Ask Dr. B2K™

"Dear B2K™, what is 6/9 Disease, please? Thanks, Tom in MI."

Dear Tom, I'm glad you asked. 6/9 Disease--while common--often goes undiagnosed. Here's a quick clinical snapshot to help you identify it in the future.


6/9 Disease (femalis inamibilis dysmorphia)

6/9 Disease is an all-too common condition on some college campuses, military bases and other places where single males outnumber single females. It generally afflicts women, ages 18-25.

Symptoms: 6/9 Disease is characterized by (and draws it's name from) the unfortunate event of a "6" somehow coming to the delusional belief that she is a "9."
Side effects include unreasonable haughty, bitchy and snarky behavior that--while well within acceptable social norms for a true 9--come off as ridiculous and annoying as fuck to all non-desperate males in the general vicinity.

Chances are if you know a girl that looks like an mildly attractive version of the Girl Next Door but acts like she's Gisele Bündchen, this unfortunate creature suffers from 6/9 Disease.

March 30th--Thank a Vet Today

Today (March 30th) is officially Welcome Home Vietnam Veterans Day. As usual, our governments have been slow to recognize the service of our Vietnam Vets. And as is now very well known, our Vets were almost universally treated like shit upon their return to the States (fuck you, hippie scum). If you know someone who served in the 60s or 70s and was lucky enough to make it back from Vietnam (Laos, Cambodia, etc) do the decent thing and extend them some thanks today.

That is all.

It's time to exercise that civic duty...

So yeah, for once I'm writing about something neither snarky nor whimsical. In point of fact, it's dead serious. I'm talking about Governor Rick Snyder's proposal to axe the film industry in Michigan.

As someone who considers themselves a staunch fiscal conservative, I understand the rationale behind Snyder removing the state tax incentive for the film industry. That said, I do believe that this was (maybe the only) one thing that Granholm got right in her term as governor. The program might need an overhaul, but for the good of the state, it most definitely should not be killed completely. If Snyder's current proposal goes into effect, this is exactly what will happen. Mitch Albom delivers the message far more poignantly than I could in this article in the Detroit Free Press.

Those of you not inclined to believe a part-time blogger with a liberal arts degree should check out the following study by Ernst & Young in-depth. It illustrates how, despite over $117M of credits being claimed in FY2010 and $73M claimed in 2009, the actual net adjusted cost (when one factors in things like reductions in UI, new state and local taxes, etc) was only $60.4M and $34.6M respectively in those two years. In addition, new business sales in MI totaled over $503M in FY2010 and $309M in FY2009.


The current incentive might be too generous, but if it's capped at $25M like Snyder proposes, it will kill the industry here in MI. We have a growing industry that--in year three of implementation--has is already bringing in over half a billion dollars a year. Why on earth would we want to get rid of that?

Write your congressman, people! This is important. I’ve attached a link to the Michigan House of Representatives HERE. If you live in/near Ann Arbor, I’ve included the following for your easy access:

District Name Party Phone E-mail

052 Ouimet, Mark R 517-373-0828 MarkOuimet@house.mi.gov
053 Irwin, Jeff D 517-373-2577 JeffIrwin@house.mi.gov
055 Olson, Rick R 517-373-1792 RickOlson@house.mi.gov

(4:33pm Update)
From the time I started writing this particular entry, two things have happened. A.)I got positive return emails from Reps Jeff Irwin and Rick Olson, and B). The Avengers has decided to pull out of the state and film elsewhere. This is just the beginning if Snyder’s budget is passed. If you give a damn about the state of your State, get off your ass, take ten minutes off from Facebook and write your congressman.

Regulate what?

So last week I ended up heading downtown with a couple of friends for evening of mayhem and whatnot. En route, the Warren G song "Regulate" came on the radio, to the delight of most of the vehicle's occupants.

I too, rejoiced at this oldie-but-goodie. But not for the reasons you might think. It's the deeper meaning of the song that tugs at my heartstrings. And if that deeper meaning may have escaped you, dear friend, please read further. I submit for your elucidation a more comprehensive review of this poignant gay love story, set to gangsta-rap hooks.

*****

The song explores the homoerotic relationship between a pair of former lovers, Warren G and Nate Dogg, forced to do adopt stereotypical macho postures and behaviour as cover in the somewhat homophobic culture of American Hip-Hop and gang culture.

On a cool, clear night (typical to Southern California) Warren G, who is attempting to live a heterosexual life style travels through his neighborhood, searching for women with whom he might initiate sexual intercourse. He has chosen to engage in this pursuit alone.

Nate Dogg, having just arrived in Long Beach, seeks Warren. On his way to find Warren, Nate passes a car full of women who are excited to see him. Regardless, he insists to the women that there is no cause for excitement.

Warren makes a left turn at 21st Street and Lewis Ave, in the East Hill/Salt Lake neighborhood, where he sees a group of attractive young men enjoying a game of dice together. He parks his car and greets them. He is very excited to find people to play with, but to his chagrin, he discovers they intend to relieve him of his material possessions. Once the hopeful robbers reveal their firearms, Warren realizes he is in a less than favorable predicament.

Meanwhile, Nate passes the women, as they are low on his list of priorities. His primary concern is locating his old lover Warren G. After curtly casting away the strumpets (whose interest in Nate was such that they crashed their automobile), he serendipitously stumbles upon his former partner, Warren G, being held up by the young miscreants.


Warren, unaware that Nate is surreptitiously observing the scene unfold, is in disbelief that he is being robbed. The perpetrators have taken jewelry and a name brand designer watch from Warren, who is so incredulous that he asks what else the robbers intend to steal. This is most likely a rhetorical question.

Observing these unfortunate proceedings, Nate realizes that he may have to use his firearm to deliver his former lover from harm.

The tension crescendos as the robbers point their guns to Warren's head. Warren senses the gravity of his situation. He cannot believe the events unfolding could happen in his own neighborhood. As he imagines himself making a fantastical escape, he catches a glimpse of his former partner, Nate.

Nate has seventeen cartridges (sixteen residing in the pistol's magazine, with a solitary round placed in the chamber and ready to be fired) to expend on the group of robbers. Afterward, he generously shares the credit for neutralizing the situation with Warren, though it is clear that Nate did all of the difficult work. Putting congratulations aside, Nate quickly reminds himself that he has committed multiple homicides to save Warren before letting his friend know that there are females nearby if he wishes to fornicate with them.

Warren recalls that it was the promise of heterosexual copulation that coaxed him away from his previous activities, and is thankful that Nate knows a way to satisfy these urges. Nate quickly finds the women who earlier crashed their car on Nate's account. He remarks to one that he is fond of her physical appeal. The woman, impressed by Nate's singing ability, asks that he and Warren allow her and her friends to share transportation. Soon, both friends are driving with automobiles full of women to the East Side Motel, presumably to consummate their flirtation in an orgy enabling Warren and Nate to have sex ’together’ but maintain their ostensibly heterosexual personas.

The third verse is more expository, with Warren and Nate explaining their G Funk musical style. Warren displays his bravado by daring anyone to approach the style. There follows a brief discussion of the genre's musicological features, with special care taken to point out that in said milieu the rhythm is not in fact the rhythm, as one might assume, but actually the bass. Similarly the bass serves a purpose closer to that which the treble would in more traditional musical forms. Nate displays his bravado by claiming that individuals with equivalent knowledge could not even attempt to approach his level of lyrical mastery. Nate goes on to note that if any third party smokes as he does, they would find themselves in a state of intoxication almost daily (from Nate's other works, it can be inferred that the substance referenced is marijuana). Nate concludes his delineation of the night by issuing a threat to "busters," suggesting that he and Warren will further "regulate" any potential incidents in the future (presumably by engaging their antagonists with small arms fire).

*****

Yeah. So now you know.

Because overkill is underrated

I don't know if this guy is at the wrong gig, like the name of the video clip implies; he's definitely upping the Awesomeness quotient of Elysburg, PA.



Yeah, that just happened. FWIW, I'm going to everything in my power to hire Rick K & the Allnighters for some random event in the upcoming year. I think maybe the best part about this whole thing is that this guy looks so much like a Chris Farley impersonator it takes a full 90 seconds or so before it sinks in that yeah, this guy is totally serious.

Here's to you Steve Moore. Well done, sir.